iCry
by esoryks'skyrose
Summary: When Olivia's beloved Aunt Maria dies, she heads to Seattle to attend the funeral. Running into the iCarly crew uncovers a terrible secret from Sam's past, a secret that no one knows except her. What will this unexpected reminder do to Sam?
1. Chapter 1

Liv took a deep breath and knocked on Cragen s door.

"Come in," he called. Olivia stepped into his office and closed the door behind her. Cragen looked up curiously.

"Cragen," Liv paused, "I need some time off."

Don scanned her face for an explanation. She had never asked for time off before, so she had to have a good reason now.

She had definitely been crying, her eyes were red and puffy. She probably hadn't slept in like a week, her hair was ruffled and knotted, her clothes rumpled.

"Olivia, are you okay?" Cragen couldn't help but ask. He loved Olivia like a daughter and he wouldn't stand by and watch her be upset.

"My aunt passed away and I d like to go to Seattle to attend her funeral," Olivia finally lost the battle with her gentler side and a lone, betraying tear ran down her face.

"Your aunt?" Don was confused; she didn't know that she had any family other than her half brother Simon.

"Yeah, my mom s sister Maria. I spent a lot of time there as a kid during the summer, you know, trying to get away from my mother. Her daughter Marissa was like my best friend growing up. You know, she named her son Fredward."

Cragen thought that she was joking, until, that is, he looked up at her. A small smile graced her lips and her eyes were glazed over.

"Why Fredward?" He had to know.

"We planned our future She was going to be a doctor and me a cop. We d have 2 kids each, a boy and a girl. Their names were supposed to rhyme. Mine were Carri and Edward and hers Mari and Fredward we were 10 I didn't think that would actually happen Liv said, So, can I have some time off?"

"Yeah, when are you leaving?" Captain asked, rooting through the papers on his desk, looking for the proper paper work.

"Tomorrow. I m sorry it s on such short notice, but she died 3 days ago and Marissa is taking it really hard."

"Okay, go home and pack. Let me know when you find out how long you re going to stay."

"Thanks, Cragen."

"No problem."

* * *  
"I'm Sam!" said Carly.

"And I m- hey wait a minute, since when?" the real Sam asked.

"Since never!" Carly replied.

"So that must mean..."

"That this is iCarly!"

"The only web show that keeps your shoes shiny,"

"And has that new show smell!" Carly finished.

Freddie's phone vibrated and began to ring Weird Al's "White and Nerdy".

"As you guys know, we get tons of super cool, funny or just plain freaky pics. here on iCarly." Carly put in quickly. She always tried to keep Sam's verbal assaults on Freddie at a minimum when they were shooting.

"So please enjoy this picture of a bunch of guys standing on their heads wearing cocktail dresses and eating peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches!" Sam said. They always had a few pictures picked out in case they needed them.

"What s your deal, Fredward?" Sam shouted, grabbing his phone from his hand and hurling it out the door.

"My cousin Olivia is coming to visit. She s like my mom s sister. She s coming for my Grandma Maria s funeral. We ll have to cut this iCarly short today. Mom needs me to weed the window boxes and water the Day Lilies and Daffodils."

"Do you just want to be beaten up?" Sam asked seriously.

"No," Freddie said.

"Carly, can I-" Sam asked.

"No." Carly said plainly. She knew her best friend better than the back of her hand, that being said, she had figured out by now that this request would be violent and geared toward Freddie.

"Why don t you play the recording?" Sam suggested.

"That s a great idea! Why didn't I think of that?" Freddie spouted.

"Cause you re a dork," Sam retorted with her usual aggression.

"Okay...Bye Carly." Freddie said as he walked out of the studio.

"Why are you so mean to him?" Carly asked.

"Cause I feel like it." Sam replied without hesitation, "Got any food?"

"You know I do."

"Fried Chicken?"

"The Chickeniest!"

"Sweet."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia sat on the plane observing the people around her trying to distract herself. She was not going to cry in front of all these people. She was determined to stay strong; to keep to herself as she usually did.

The old man beside her was snoring loudly. He sprawled out into her lap and his toupee slid off his head into her vitamin water. The boy behind her, probably 8 years old, thought this was hysterical.

She turned to face him and smiled. The look on his face as she smiled at him was priceless. He reminded her of Elliot when they first met, except she wasn't in love with the little boy, just the man he reminded her of.

Liv grinned as she thought of when she and Elliot had first met. She'd walked in to the squad room and Elliot's mouth dropped open and he dropped the file that was in his hand. She'd been thinking how cute he was and hadn't even noticed his awkward fumbling.

When she saw his wedding ring her heart fell. Just as she felt as though she would cry, a large, bald man walked out of an office and asked, "Olivia Benson?" Ah, saved by the bald man. She chuckled to herself as she remembered thinking this.

"Ma'am would you like a drink?" the flight attendant asked, snapping her from her thoughts.

"No thank you." she replied, looking up just in time to see the woman snicker at the old man in her lap and the hair in her vitamin water.

"Don't you tell me that you no good, worthless, lump of a husband! You can't even stay faithful for a week! So don't you go begging me to forgive you after you nearly kill me for walking in on you two!" the woman on the other side of Olivia slammed her cell phone closed and slumped into her seat.

Her breathing was ragged, telling Olivia she was crying. Liv reached over and put her hand on the woman's shoulder. The woman tensed then looked up, big teardrops still running down her face. "Good for you," Liv said simply.

The woman wiped a tear away and smiled, "Where are you headed?"

"Seattle, you?"

"Me, too. Going back to live with my mom." The woman sighed.

"I'm going to my aunt's funeral." Liv looked down.

"Oh, sorry for your loss."

"Yeah, me too…"

After this conversation, Olivia drifted into her first peaceful sleep since she lost her aunt. Dreaming of going dancing with the love of her life, Elliot.

_I whirled around and around, pausing only to see him smile and tell me I was beautiful. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up against his chest. It was odd, because the first time I remember him doing this was after I had almost died, but that's another story. He wasn't wearing a bullet proof vest and he had moved his gun to a 'hidey holster' as Munch called it, on his ankle._

"_I love you, Babe." He smiled and kissed my cheek._

"_Now, El, none of that!" I giggled._

_He smiled brilliantly, "But-"_

_I interrupted him as my lips met his. I felt his sigh creep between our lips._

_When we finally pulled apart, I laid my head on his chest. "I love you," he whispered, "forever."_

* * *

Sam sat in Carly's room, watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Sam hadn't slept peacefully since she had become Sam. Holly would be having her mom sing her to sleep. That was the one thing she missed about being Holly, her parents. They had kicked her out after their run in with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit.

Sam sighed. She really missed Dr. Hendricks and Olivia. _Olivia?_ She thought, _Olivia Benson…No, it's just a coincidence. There is no way that Detective Olivia Benson is in any way related to Freddie. _She shuddered at the very thought of her past. She didn't want to think about him right now, not when this was just a coincidence…But in her mind remained the nagging thought that her ugly past was coming back to haunt her in more than just her dreams.

* * *

Sam went to the kitchen for some comfort food to find Spencer sacked out on couch, clutching a straw, a peacock feather, and a pair of ballet slippers. Sam covered him up with the afghan from his bed.

She'd liked Spencer since the first time she'd met him. He was funny and sweet. Not like a crush though, more like a big brother. He, Carly, and Freddie were the most like family than any real family than she had as Sam.

She was wondering what he was working on at the moment. There was no telling with Spencer what he cradled in his arms was probably just the beginning of the sculpture. She'd have to ask him in the morning.

She curled up with another afghan and a pillow from under Spencer and drifted into an uneasy sleep. Dreaming of Olivia holding her close.

"_Shhhhhhh, its okay, Holly." Olivia whispered. Sam, before she was Sam, sobbed into her soft cashmere sweater. She pulled me close and began to sing_

_Hush my lily._

_Don't you cry._

_Hush my baby._

_Utter your sleepy sigh._

_Hush my darling._

_As I hold you close._

_Hush my love._

_Dreaming of the coast._

_Hush my sweetie._

_Dream of an island far out at sea._

_Sleep my lily._

_And think of me._

Sam woke up to find both of the Shay's staring at her. Carly handed her a box of tissues and Sam realized that her pillow was wet with tears.

"Spencer, give us a minute, please." Carly said.

Spencer walked out of the door in his boxers. He burst back into the door. "I need pants, pants are important!" He grabbed pant off the couch and left, without even bothering to put them on.

"Haha, Pants _are_ important," Sam stuttered nervously.

"Don't change the subject!" Carly exclaimed, "You have been acting really weird since Freddie said that his Cousin Olivia was coming to visit, is that what's up with you? Is that why you don't ever sleep? I see you watch me sleep. I'm not always asleep when you come in!"

"Carls, I _don't _want to have this conversation…" Sam said carefully.

"Sam, you can trust me. I'm your _best friend_. I care about you and this conversation has been waiting to happen for a long time. _Talk to me!_ I just want to help! Sam, I don't like sitting around when I know that something is bothering you. Please, Sam, please! Let me help!" Carly pleaded.

Sam got up. "I said no, Carly. Got it? N-O spells no."

"Sam, I can spell."

"I know. But you can't mind your own business."

"Sam, listen to me, and listen closely: your business, is my business. We are best friends and we share everything. Including pain. I can tell that this secret hurts you and what hurts you hurts me."

By this time Sam and Carly both had tears running down their face.

Spencer came in again in his usual bursty manner. "The Groovy Smootie now sells-" He paused when he saw the two girls sitting there crying, "…pickles?"

"I- um….I-" Sam stuttered.

"We- uh…It's just that-" Carly stuttered.

The girls looked at each other, looking for words to describe what had just happened.

Then came a knock on the door, a knock that made both girls sigh with relief, a knock that would soon send Sam spiraling in freefall back into her horrid past…


	3. Chapter 3

Liv's day had been nuts. She was glad that she was finally at the apartment. After getting off the plane, a homeless man had smiled at her. It wouldn't have been so weird had he not called her 'baby cakes' and given her a toothless grin.

When she had hopped into a cab, there was a short little woman with purple hair, stereo blazing and singing 'Girls just want to have fun'. Olivia had tried to make conversation with this peculiar woman but all she got as a response was, "SING IT WITH ME SWEETS!!!! YEAH!! GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FU-UN!" So Olivia put in her own iPod and tried to tune her out.

To top all that, when she walked into the apartments and asked the doorman which apartment the Bensons were in, the doorman growled at her and cried out, "I don't know! Who do you think I am? The doorman?"

Olivia _had_ thought he was the doorman, he _was_ the doorman, but she just walked away. Marissa had told her that it was on the third floor and she remembered that the number was something-teen and it had an 'a' or a 'b' in it, but that was all she could remember.

She had knocked on at least 5 doors before she came to another apartment. She could hear a commotion coming from in there, so she knocked on the door.

A tall, skinny man opened the door, clutching a bag of bagels and a jar of pickles opened the door. He seemed distracted and, for a moment, didn't look up. "Look, now really isn't a good time—" this is when he looked up, "Wow, hot lady-person! Carly, why is there a hot lady-person sanding on my doormat?"

Two girls stood up behind the man. They were talking intensely and they were both crying. One of them was talking, "Sam, talk to me! Please!"

"No, I don't want you and you can't make me!" The blonde girl sobbed and rushed toward the door. When she saw Olivia she froze. "Olivia-" she burst into tears and ran the other way, up a pair of stairs.

"Holly-" Olivia called after Sam, and went to talk to her. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, realizing what she had done. "I'm so sorry. I'm Detec- um… I mean, I'm Olivia, Olivia Benson. I'm just used to being the one to comfort girls when they're upset."

"Oh, you must be Freddie's cousin. I'm Spencer," he held his hand out to her and she shook it warmly. "What is it you do again? Counselor?"

"I'm a cop. Special Victim's Unit." She replied, expecting him to shy away, as most men did.

"I'm an artist." He replied. "I make sculptures, like Joey." He held up a bag of peacock feathers, one of which he had tangled in his ruffled hair, a ballet slipper and a straw. "He's a ballet dancing flamingo!"

"With peacock feathers?" she laughed, glancing over his shoulder to watch the small brunette climb the stairs. The girl that the pair had called 'Sam' walked quickly down the stairs, pushing past the other girl and past Olivia, grabbing her wrist and dragging her out of the apartment. She closed the door and pulled Olivia close, holding her tightly and sobbing. "Holly, it's okay," she cooed.

"I'm. Not. Holly. I. Am. Sam." Sam said evenly, pulling away from Olivia and looking up into her beautiful, kind, brown eyes, "Got it Olivia? I'm Sam. I have a new life now. I have a life, friends that care about me. Friends that don't know about me. I need it to keep it that way. Please, Olivia, keep it that way."

"Okay, love, I will. Did you tell anyone here? Anyone at all?" Olivia said after she had pulled Sam back against her. She was now softly stroking her hair and rocking her gently.

Sam pulled away and smiled slightly. "My sister." She whispered.

"Your sister? I didn't know you had a sister."

"I do. The other people weren't my biological parents. Can you believe that? I was adopted. I have a twin sister, Melody." Sam's eyes glistened with love for this girl she had met only a few years ago.

"Sam," Olivia looked directly into Sam's eyes, "You can trust me. I won't tell. I promise."

The two hugged. They hugged as a mother would hug a child. They were crying softly, Sam into Olivia's cashmere sweater and Olivia into Sam's golden-colored, soft, beautiful hair.

* * *

"What do you think that's about?" Carly asked Spencer.

"I don't know, Carly, I really don't know."

"Should I go out there?" Carly started to pace.

"No, Carly. Sam will let you when she's ready. And it may just be nothing. You need to give her some space, Carls, she needs room to breathe."

"But—" Carly tried to object, but Spencer cut her off.

"No, Carls. She just needs to deal with whatever it is she's so upset about. She needs to find the strength to talk about it on her own time or she might regret it."

"Spencer, I'm her best friend, if she can't trust me, who can she trust?" Carly continued to pace, tears were now running down her face.

"Come here, Carly. It'll be okay, sis. It'll be okay…"

Carly was surprised to see this new side of Spencer. She was so happy to have this man, her big brother, finally being the mature adult that she always needed him to be. Finally, he was holding her close and letting her cry. Comforting her and being what she had always longed for, a man of the house, her protector.

* * *

Freddie rounded the corner and stumbled upon Sam and his cousin, in a very close embrace. "Whoa," He said and Olivia and Sam both looked up. Sam pushed away from Olivia and up against the wall. "What… who… why—" Freddie started, "No don't answer that, Olivia… Soooo… when did you get here?"

"About an hour ago," Olivia said, "So which apartment is yours again?" She finished casually, changing the subject.

"This one," he pointed to the apartment across from the Shay residence, "Okay then… Well, welcome to Seattle, Aunt Liv."


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm worried about Olivia," Elliot paced back and forth, holding a picture of the two of them that he kept on his desk, "she didn't say goodbye. I hope she's okay… She said something about her Aunt Maria dying. Maybe that's it. Maybe she went to Seattle. Oh, I wouldn't trust those cops up there as far as I could throw them. What if she's hurt? Oh, Casey what if she was raped? Oh, God, Liv! Why didn't you call!?!?"

Casey looked Elliot straight in the eyes and smacked him across the face. "Now that that is out of the way, I think she would at least call me if something happened to her," Casey thought about what had happened to Olivia at Sealview. She still hadn't told Elliot, who she loved, what that corrupt cop had done to her. "Elliot, I'm her best friend. She—wait, wait a minute, she hasn't called me either. Oh well, I'm sure she's fine."

"Maybe Cragen knows," Elliot replied. As if he had been called, Cragen walked into the squad room. "Hey, Cragen, have you heard from Olivia?"

"No, she went to Seattle for personal reasons." Cragen replied, not looking up from his files.

Just as Cragen walked away into his office, Munch and Fin walked in. "What's your trip?" Fin asked, looking at Elliot pacing and Casey with her game face on.

"Olivia's vanished!" Elliot exclaimed. Olivia was the only one that had ever made him cry, which he wanted to do now, but not in front of the guys. He'd cry for his love when she was in his arms.

"She didn't vanish El, she took a vacation. She hasn't called and he's worried about her." Casey rolled her eyes at no one in particular. He'd be happy when the two of them finally became more than just friends so they'd be able to call each other just because, so Elliot wouldn't freak himself out.

"Here's a suggestion: Go find her. Duh, Elliot, I'm surprised you didn't consider that. Am I missing something?" Munch looked over the tops of his glasses at Elliot, as he always did when he wanted a straight answer.

"John, shut up your bony white a—" Casey almost cursed, when she saw a tall, thin blonde girl walk into the squad room. Her head on a swivel, she was eyeing many of the officers curiously. She said something in a hushed tone to a plain-clothed officer, who, in turn, pointed to Elliot.

Elliot walked over to the girl and bent down to look her in the eye. "Can I help you, Sweetheart?" He asked, smiling gently, his eyes kind.

She fidgeted nervously. "It depends, are you Elliot?" She was nervous. It was making her anxious to be in the Special Victims Unit Squad room.

"Yes, I am. Sweetheart, did someone hurt you? Is that why you're here? Do you need our help?" Elliot put his hand on her shoulder, a test of sorts. She didn't even flinch.

"No, no and yes. No one ever touched me, so that isn't why I'm here; but I do need your help." The girl paused and sighed, "My name is Melanie, Melanie Pucket. My sister used to live her. _She_ was abused. I want to surprise her. Her life is going downhill fast. She needs help, our help. That's why I'm here. To take you and one…" She looked at a note in her hand, "Casey Novak. Is that you?" She looked around Elliot to Casey.

"Yep. That's me. Who's your sister?" Casey replied.

"Her name _was_ Holly, she changed her name, though. She's Samantha now, Sam."

"And where is Sam?" Elliot asked. He was worried to death about Olivia, but this girl was very convincing, without even trying to be.

"Seattle." She replied, "She spends a lot of time with the Shays and the Bensons."

"Seattle…" Elliot repeated, "Bensons…"

"That's what I said."

"What do you think?" Casey asked Elliot.

"You talk to our bosses and I'll take Melanie to go get the car." Elliot didn't even consider hesitating. Olivia was with those Bensons that Melanie mentioned; he could feel it.

* * *

"Olivia!!!!!!" Ms. Benson exclaimed, bursting into the Shay residence. Olivia looked up from the now-forming Joey the Flapingcock and smiled. Marissa was standing in the doorway just glowing.

Olivia put down the bag of feathers and the wire she had been winding around Joey and walked over to Marissa. "Marissa." Olivia said, the calm half of the duo, as usual.

"Permission to hug?" Marissa said, holding up her arms. It was a joke between the two of them. They had done it ever since they had attended a sexual harassment course in college. Olivia was surprised that Marissa had remembered, but then again, she had remembered as well.

"Permission granted." Olivia smiled and stepped forward into her cousin's embrace.

* * *

Sam and Carly had made their way up the stairs once Carly had managed to pry Sam away from Olivia. "Okay, Sam listen to me—" Sam tried to cut Carly off, but Carly was having none of that, "No, Sam, don't talk, just listen. I am your best friend, if you can't trust me, well, I don't know who you can trust. Something happened to you, Sam, something horrible. I don't know what it is, but I know that it hurts you. I know that it gives you nightmares, so you don't sleep, I know that you are in pain, physical or emotional, I don't know, but I know that you need help dealing with it." Carly looked Sam in her tear-burdened eyes and continued, "I'm here to be that help. I'm here when you need me, which I can tell you do. But I can't force you to tell me. All I can do is ask you, beg you to get help of some kind. Let someone help you, Sam. You're tough, but no one will think any less of you if you ask for help. Everyone needs help at some point, and I want you to know that it is okay to ask. I was so afraid to ask for help when my mom died, but I was glad when I did. The point is, Sam, that there is no reason to suffer in silence when you can ask for help and get over it. Sam, you need help, whether or not you get it or not is up to you, but please, at least consider it."

"Carly, you're right, something did happen to me, but I will Never, do you hear me _Never_, get over it. I can't ask for help without having to talk about it and I refuse to do that. One person in my entire family knows, and I won't have anyone else knowing about it. I won't put those images in anyone else's head, including yours. So, no, Carly Shay, no. I won't get help. I won't tell you what happened. And I won't talk about this any more. So leave this conversation alone and never bring it up again or you will never see me again." Sam yelled. She stood up and headed for the door out of the studio.

"Sam! Wait!" Carly said more, but it was muffled by the door as Sam slammed it into her face.

Carly threw open the door and followed Sam down the stairs, calling her all the way down.

"Hey, hey, hey…" Olivia jumped off the couch and grabbed Sam, "Shhhhh. It's okay. Calm down, calm down!"

"No! NO! Let GO of me!! STOP!! NO!!!" Sam lashed out at Olivia, trying desperately to break her grip, to get away.

"Shh… Its okay, Sam. You're safe now, you're safe. No one can hurt you, he can't hurt you." Olivia rocked Sam, interlocking her fingers around Sam, "Nothing is going to hurt you. I won't let them, I'll protect you, Sam, listen, me, _Olivia_, I'll protect you."

"Olivia…" Sam gasped. She flipped around and cried into Olivia's bust, wrapping her arms around her tightly, "Don't let him…" she couldn't bring herself to say what she didn't want done, but it was pretty obvious.

"I won't. I promise, Sam, no more pain, no more abuse. It's over, love, it's over. You're safe." Olivia cooed. She moved over to the couch and laid a very exhausted, still sobbing Sam onto it, resting Sam's head in her lap. "You're safe…" she whispered just once more before Sam passed out into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

The trio was sitting on the plane en route to Seattle. Elliot was facing the window, watching the fields pass beneath him through the clouds. He was trying not to cry. Olivia was making him crazy. Why didn't she call? Was she okay? He looked over at Melanie. She was holding an mp3 player and singing softly, her eyes glazed over, "There's always gonna be another mountain, you're always gonna wanna make it mo-ove. It's always gonna be an up-hill battle, sometimes you just have to lo-oose…" her voice trailed off and she hummed the tune she had just sang. She looked so sad, so lost…Elliot had to look away, this girl that he had met only a few short hours ago reminded him so much of Olivia. His beauty, his angel, his love was in pain, he could see it in her eyes and he hated it. He was going to change it. His love would never fret again.

He looked over when he heard a sniffle and saw a side of Casey that he didn't even know existed. Tears were running down Melanie's face and her eyes were closed. Casey had taken out Melanie's headphones and was singing to her softly. Elliot didn't recognize the tune, but it was kind and sweet, it put even Elliot at ease.

_Don't worry 'bout it, baby_

_Don't worry 'bout it, hon_

_We'll do our best and just maybe,_

_We can get it done…_

_Don't worry 'bout it, sweetie_

_Don't worry 'bout it, love_

_It'll be a happy meeting_

_Everyone, we'll rise above!_

"We'll be landing now. Please buckle you seatbelts and prepare for landing."

Melanie wiped her tears away and fastened her belt around her waist. The party landed with a jolt and slowly the passengers filed out onto the platform. Once the three were off, Casey wrapped Melanie in a hug. "We'll help her, Melanie, I promise."

Elliot just stood there on the platform, missing his precious Olivia more than ever, wishing he was holding her, her head against his chest, nestled in his embrace. He too began to cry. Casey looked over at him and put her arm around his waist. She drew him close, a gentle, sweet and comforting hug. "We'll find her…" she whispered into his ear, resting her head on his shoulder.

The two finally pulled away and Casey grabbed Melanie's hand, a welcomed gesture for the worried teen. Elliot grabbed everyone's bags and went to pick up their rental car.

"He's in love with that Olivia woman, isn't he?" Melanie asked looking up at Casey. Casey only nodded. Melanie smiled, "I can tell by the way he smiled when he looked at her picture. The one that he keeps on his desk…"


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia was still rocking Sam, cradling in her arms like a small child and cooing softly, "Hush, love, hush. You're safe now, doll. No one will hurt you, not on my watch…" She kept talking. It was supposed to help keep away the nightmares. She'd never actually done it, but her therapist had recommended that she listen to her iPod while she slept to keep her grasp on reality when she started to slip into a nightmare. She was sure that this would work the same way, at least, she hoped it would.

Carly walked down the stairs and saw Olivia holding Sam. She sat down next to her on the couch, moving Sam's ankles into her lap. "Ms. Benson?"

"Olivia, sweetie, yes?" She looked up at Carly and smiled gently, she had gone into mom mode when Sam had become scared and had yet to pull herself out of it.

"What happened to her?" Carly sat up off the couch and looked at Liv, her eyes pleading.

"She hasn't told you?"

"No."

"Sweetheart…" Olivia looked down, sighed, and looked back at her "if Sam wants you to know, she'll tell you. This is really hard for her and she's doing her best to block it out. She's been silent her whole life and she still has trouble opening up about it. If she doesn't tell you, it isn't because she won't, it's because she can't. Don't take it personally."

Carly sighed and stood up, walking away to head up the stairs, "Oh, and Carly…" Carly turned around and down at Liv, "she needed a friend like you, just be there for her when she needs you and don't push if she want to be alone. You'll find out when she's good and ready." Olivia smiled softly and sighed.

* * *

Elliot walked into the apartment building that had taken him about an hour to find, even after he was in their rental car and was getting very accurate directions from Melanie. "It's about time we got here." Elliot grumbled, lugging their bags to the front desk. He missed his dear Olivia, Liv. _His_ Liv. "Hey, doorman! What room are the Bensons in?" He asked.

"Dontcha wish you kne-ew?" He scoffed.

Melanie stepped over to him and grabbed his hand. "I'm Melanie." She grinned her sweetest smile and Lubert grinned.

"Hey, Doll," He shook her hand.

Elliot stepped up, immediately on the defensive. "I think she's a little young for you…" he practically growled.

"I'll be the judge of that, pops!" He kissed Melanie's hand and looked up at her.

"Just FYI, sweetie, you are a jerk. And I am way to good for you. So I am just going to have to deal with you accordingly." She smiled a smile so sweet, it was dangerous. She looked at Elliot, her father of sorts and said this is for you, and flipped Lubert up into the air and over onto his back. "See, Lube, I can take care of myself."

"So, do you know what room they're in?" Casey asked, her wide, radiant smile spreading across her face.

"Yep, they're all probably in the Shay apartment." She said over her shoulder as she led the trio into the elevator.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. "I got it." Sam said getting up from her seat beside Liv. She opened the door and her face went white. "Me-Me-Melanie? Why did you bring them here?" She stuttered as she looked from Melanie, to Elliot, to Casey and back again. Her lip quivered and she backed away from the trio. She stumbled backwards into Olivia's arms. "Why- Why are they here? Did you? But I thought- I- You promised!!!" Sam wailed. She jerked out of Liv's arms and ran up the stairs.

"Sam-" Olivia turned to go after her, when she felt a hand on her arm. She looked down to see Carly, her eyes shining bright.

"I'll do it, Olivia, she needs me. Now more than ever. I'll do it while you go talk to that man in our doorway that is leering at you." She ran up the stair after Sam.

Olivia looked at Elliot, I mean, _actually_ looked at him. She was in love, there was no doubting that, but did he love her too? "Elliot, a word?" Olivia said, grabbing his hand and leading him out the door that he had barely stepped in.

"Sure," He looked over all the faces in the room and followed her out.

She closed the door behind him and looked up into his beautiful eyes, "Elliot-"

Elliot interrupted her and pressed his finger to her lips, "Not a word…"He moved in close to her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her tight to his chest, "Olivia," he breathed into her ear…

* * *

Casey looked over Spencer, from his wild hair, to the random objects in his hand. "You are an artist, aren't you?"

"Why, yes, yes I am! How did you know?"

"I have a thing for artists…" she edged closer to him, plucking a feather from his hair, "But, you look familiar…what did you say your name was?"

"Spencer, Spencer Shay. I used to be a lawyer." He smiled his goofy, lopsided grin.

"Oh!!! That's where I know you from! You dropped out after 3 days! I always wondered why."

"Because I was too busy watching the beautiful redheaded woman that sat in front of me," he grabbed her hand and kissed it gingerly.

"Aw, now, Spence, no flirting." She put her arms around him and rested her head on his chest.

"Really hot lady person?" He asked, looking into her big, beautiful eyes.

"Yes, Even hotter guy person?" She grinned, teasing him.

"Kiss me." He ran his fingers over her soft, rosy lips.

"My pleasure," she filled the rest of the gap between them in mere seconds, standing on her tiptoes as he leaned into the kiss.

* * *

Sam was slumped into the beanbag, her head in her hands, sobbing softly. She looked up at Carly when she heard the door click. "Carly!" She jumped up and ran into Carly's open arms. "I'm sorry, Carly, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I need to tell you, Carly, you are right, so right I _do_ need help, I do! And, and, I- It's just that it's so hard. I get so shaky and ashamed when I talk about it, like, this is all my fault. Like I could've stopped it, I should've stopped him!"

"Sam," Carly grabbed her shoulders and held them firmly, "I don't care about that. You are my best friend and I trust that you will tell me when you're ready. That may be years from now, but that's okay. You may never want me to know and well, that's okay too. It's your life and what you tell me is up to you."

"Carly, I'm so glad to hear you say that. I do trust you, and well, you need to know. I was molested, Carls, I was molested…"she trailed off and the last part of the sentence was more to herself than to Carly. "He- he- made me-"

"Sam, stop. This is okay. I know now and you don't need to tell me any more. This is really hard for you, and telling me what you have means a lot to me. That wasn't your fault. Not in any way, shape, or form. Do you understand? He took advantage of your weaknesses and that is not your fault. You can't blame yourself for what he did to you. What _he_ did to _you_, not what you _let_ him do to you, you didn't want him to touch you and he did anyway. Sam, are you getting this? That isn't your fault!" Carly said firmly to Sam, looking her in the eyes.

"Not. My. Fault…" She repeated to herself, "Not. My. Fault…"

"That's right, Sammy, this isn't your fault. I'm so glad you told me. I can help you now that I know, Sam, I can help you." She pulled Sam close and they stood there, in each other's arms, for the longest time…

* * *

Chills ran down Liv's spine. She knew what was coming, what he was going to say, and she wanted to hear it so badly. "Say it, El, say it." She whispered into his soft blazer jacket.

"I love you, Olivia Benson. With all my heart! I've wanted to say that for so long, since the moment you walked into our squad room. I want to love you for the rest of my life, and I want your love. Tell me you love me, Olivia, tell me!" He slid her backwards so he could look into her chocolaty eyes, "Olivia?" He pleaded, as she pulled away from him.

"El-" She uttered.

"Olivia, please, Olivia. Do you love me? Please say you do. Tell me you love me, Olivia. Please? Olivia?" He caressed her face, searching her eyes for any clue that her feelings were the same as his.

"Elliot, I do. I love you, too. I need you in my life. I can't live without you, Elliot. I want to be with you forever. I want to open my eyes to your baby blues. I want to fell your lips against mine. I want-" She was interrupted by her last request.

He pressed his velvety lips on hers and she had to respond. She put her long arms around his neck and pulled him down into the kiss. They held their position for what seemed like an eternity.

When he finally pulled away, his soft lips returned to her ear. "Marry me, Olivia, marry me. Wake up to my baby blues and my arms around you. Let me stroke your soft hair; let me be there for you. Let me be the man for your side. Olivia, let me be what I want to be. Let me be yours!"

"I will, Elliot. I do want you, Elliot, I do. And I did since the first time I saw you. Kiss me again, Elliot, kiss me as your fiancé." And Elliot complied.

After only a few seconds, though, he pulled away. Olivia grabbed him in protest, but he was stronger than she was. "Liv, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. You need something before you're technically my fiancé…" he routed through his pockets and pulled out a small diamond ring.

It was absolutely gorgeous, a small, simple band, 14 karat gold, with a lone, half karat diamond. It was exactly what Olivia had imagined, it was so, so, her. How well her Elliot knew her. He slid it onto her finger and she let out a little squeal of approval. He examined it on her finger for a moment and, when he was satisfied that it was there, and that it was on Olivia's dainty hand, he pulled her back into a deep kiss. His fiancé. He had what he had always wanted. His dear Olivia was happy and that was all that mattered.


End file.
